You Never Know What Will Spark You (or: In Which I Humiliate Myself for the Greater Good)

Wondering if any of your creative efforts have been wasted?

Or if your creative impulses are too weird to take seriously?

Fie upon the thoughts, I say!

This is going to be a short entry, but it requires courage to post. I’m resigning myself to embracing the fact that one of my weird compulsions missions in life is to make myself vulnerable in order to help others.

I tend to take one for the team, so to speak.

In January 2012, I had a terrible first full-length draft of my first solo show. I was about to take a six-month-long master class on solo-show creation, during which I would completely dismember and destroy revise that draft into something a paying audience might actually want to watch. I was freaking out a bit since I would be workshopping scenes for classmates who might…you know…hate everything I presented.

Meanwhile, I needed a creative outlet that I kept private and thus safe in order to follow my weirdest impulses, to keep the juices flowing with no connection to the solo show.

Except that they did ultimately connect to the show.

Here’s the first thing I created. I titled it “monster.” Note its abysmal amateur quality.

monster

Feeling better about yourself now? You’re welcome.

Here’s the next thing I created, and I can only hope that this will not come back to haunt me somehow, because its dorkiness is…well, I’ll let you determine that for yourself.

I made two more videos that I shall spare you, and then the workshop and other projects took over my life, and I no longer had time for these ridonkulous spontaneous creative-impulse pursuits.

When I made them I had no idea that they would help my show, but they did. On a lark, I sent the drawing to a couple of friends, and they were amused and kind. That helped me to breathe a bit easier about putting original work out there. I sent the video to a few more friends and one said she laughed until she cried. She may have been the only one who liked it, but one person not hating it or ignoring it or pitying me for it was all I needed.

Plus, the composition/framing ended up being what I used for my show’s poster.

AC_Poster_11x17_generic-1

My director hates the poster, but what can I say, it was my vision at the time. She’s very classy, so I kinda see her point now…but I still love the head peeking in…and I just have an abiding fondness for the whole thing.

You know how it is with certain things. You see the flaws but you feel affection for them nonetheless.

Anyhoo. As random and weird and amateur and dorky and embarrassing as those two works of “art” may be, they were meant just for me and a few friends, and they boosted my courage, which did the trick: I created the show, which is now a movie (almost ready for audiences!). The show’s success also led to my ongoing workshops.

So I feel like a deer in headlights mostly okay about sharing these pieces here because…well, what the heck. I sincerely hope that they assist you with your creative pursuits somehow.

Follow your kooky creative impulses. Keep them all private if you like, but have faith that they’re helping you in ways you may not be able to articulate until five years from now. They’re worth it.

BONUS: Here’s an encouraging article about how walking/strolling can spark creativity:

Want to Be More Creative? Take a Walk by Gretchen Reynolds


Thank you for reading my twenty-fourth post! I love your comments! Please feel free to leave one below.

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8 thoughts on “You Never Know What Will Spark You (or: In Which I Humiliate Myself for the Greater Good)

  1. just LOVE this :o)

    On Fri, Jul 28, 2017 at 12:06 AM, suitcasefactory wrote:

    > eliang posted: “Wondering if any of your creative efforts have been > wasted? Or if your creative impulses are too weird to take seriously? Fie > upon the thoughts, I say! This is going to be a short entry, but it > requires courage to post. I’m resigning myself to embracin” >

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This made my day. I linked to your Solo Show and Memoir Workshop (Intro and Sample Session) and it is great! I got inspired in the first three minutes or so about two shows I want to do. Make that three. I’d better stop thinking. Anyway, I have to watch the other 30 or so minutes yet, so watch out. I love your blog because it is so deeply true and vulnerable and funny and serious all at the same time. I especially like the way you make “asides” by crossing out what you are really thinking but aren’t supposed to say. Thanks for sharing this. Maybe your blog will become a book. It would make a good one.

    Liked by 1 person

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